But Is It Football?

There was nothing much else on the box, so I thought I’d watch some of the European Championships football matches. Tonight happened to be Liverpool vs Real Madrid. But really it could have been any one of the matches, the clubs are all the same in terms of their antics – legal or otherwise, once they get onto the grass.

Well there were two teams, both of 11 men, all on the same pitch. There was also a ball and a referee on the pitch which both, however, seemed rather incidental to the real action.

The first goal, in hindsight, was scored after the defender had been physically pulled over and dumped to the ground. The attacker’s arm reached out, hand clasped the defender’s shoulder and jerked backwards. Lo & behold – one defender flat on his back and the goal now open.

Soon after that one of the players delivered a horizontal scissors kick across an opponent’s legs that would have scored a gold medal on the pommel horse. One leg goes in front of the player with the ball, the other leg comes swinging in from the back, aiming squarely for the back of the knee, to slam the ball holder to the ground, while pretending to go for the ball. The gesticulating afterwards, protesting against the well deserved yellow card, was the pure ego-tripping histrionics of a spoilt self-centred brat. Which, of course, is just what most football players are! Meanwhile the victim was lucky to get away without having his legs broken.

Sure they all go down when an opponent’s boot dares approach closer than a metre (http://goodtalking.wordpress.com/2008/06/19/ballet-with-boots-but-no-balls/), but they also deliver killer blows to unsuspecting opponents, without batting an eyelid, and then protest to the ref and stamp away in a sulk calling him a blind ba****d.

We often hear of various clubs employing talent scouts to watch games in order to short list the players they need to buy into their team. I think its time for a bit of thinking outside the box, or outside the pitch to be precise. Some of the entertainers (they’ve long since given up being called wrestlers!) on WWF, or whatever it is called, could do a pretty good number on their opponents on the football pitch. Likewise, I see a great future for some ‘football’ players, on the mat of a wrestling ring.

So what is – European Championships Football, or All In Hacking?

As I’ve said before – its time to get tough with some post match slow motion replays delivering some appropriate penalties to the perpetrators of the worst of the violence.

Tags: European Championships, Football, foul, goal, Liverpool, penalty, Real Madrid, referee, tackle, violence, yellow card